


In which Azula and Zuko fuck up the GoT

by Phantom248



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Slow To Update, casual mention of violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:07:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26877157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantom248/pseuds/Phantom248
Summary: The title says it all.OrSet of drabbles in which Zuko and Azula are reborn as Viserys and Daenerys. They are not happy with these savages and peasants telling them what to do.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 66





	1. In which Zuko wakes up in the so called afterlife and gets mauled by Azula

**Author's Note:**

> So, instead of completing my other story, I am posting this.  
> To be fair, most of my stories are inspired by this, as I had already written this, but in my experience, my attempts at humor are not that good. But that will not stop me🤓

Zuko passed away peacefully in his sleep at an old age.

Even in his death, he was celebrated. The Fire Lord who worked with Avatar to bring an era of peace and harmony, the Lord of Dragons, a King who essentially started the renaissance of arts and technology. Peoples Prince, they called him, even though he was crowned at sixteen. In short, he had accomplished many things. He was satisfied, happy even with his life. His daughter and grandson never failed to fill him with pride and joy, and he had long ago stepped down for them to prove their mantle.

Sue him, he was old and his joints had started to creak every time he moved. He had earned his rest. He was ready to move on.

(He wasn’t suicidal no matter what those idiots thought. They were simply jealous he can still perform those crazy stunts at his age when the other morons can’t even move without whining. Fuckers. He was awesome.)

The afterlife was… noisy.

… What??

Zuko carefully extracted himself from the silk sheets and stood up. His surroundings were really strange. The style of furniture, curtains, decorations, everything was different, and not a style he recognized.

_So the afterlife embraces another unknown culture, huh._

_Why the fuck am I thinking about stupid things when there is so much noise even an air bison would not tolerate,_ Zuko scrubbed his face angrily. It seemed like someone was shouting at the top of their lungs. Seems like someone had a rough morning.

 _Bad Zuko, focus,_ he shook his head like a puppykitten.

Sorting out his priorities in his mind (he wasn’t that bad, dear daughter what were you talking about, I am very careful, no no I am not doing anything foolish, I am your Father not the other way around, how dare you make these slanderous accusations-), he stopped inspecting his surroundings and started inspecting himself.

His joints weren’t creaking. Thank Agni.

“- I need to see that traitor brother of mine, so move out of my way you peasant, or I will throw you out from this window-“

Why does that threat sounds familiar?

Also, his skin is pale. Too pale in fact. He was fair-skinned, sure, but his skin looked like it has never seen the sun. Strange.

“- you think you can threaten me, you idiot-“

That voice was getting louder. And near. And there was a really strange feeling.

…Why is the afterlife so noisy? Isn’t it supposed to be peaceful?

A sudden boom interrupted Zuko’s obsessive internal monologue about the characteristics of the afterlife.

He whirled around, finding a fair-haired, purple-eyed girl of about fourteen or fifteen standing in the door of the room he was in.

Correction. The door was no more. RIP.

(But we are already dead so why- focus you moron!)

The girl didn’t give him time to gather his thoughts anyway. “So I am hearing about my possible marriage today. My. Marriage. With a Savage. And the one arranging this is my very kind older brother. So dear brother, care to explain that?”

Come to think of it, the manner of speech was very familiar. That overly sweet, condescending tone- can it be?

“Azula?”

Silence.

“So nice to see you, Zuzu.”

Suddenly he realized that the strange feeling was actually his preservation instincts screaming at him to run far, far away.

(“Look I can explain-“

“I don’t care you thief! Burn!”

“Ow, Azula stop throwing fire at me! Just listen owowow-“

“Fine. Let us hear it then.”

“…um”

“That’s what I thought. Now burn. Hahaha-”)

In the end, it took several guards to separate them. Two curtains, bedsheets, a table, and three chairs were harmed in the process, in addition to broken bones and bruised pride of many men.


	2. In which Zuko is relieved that Azula will maul someone else

So, the good news was that he wasn’t old anymore. No more creaking bones. Yay.

The bad news was, he looked like an effeminate, ethereal spirit famous for luring worn travelers to their domain. Yay.

“Fuck, Azula, what was that for?” Zuko scowled, rubbing his arm. Just because she had a scrawny body now didn’t mean she couldn’t use her brain to maximize the strength behind her jabs while simultaneously finding his weak spots. Fuck. That hurts!

Azula rolled her eyes. Hard.

“Were you even listening to anything this man has been prattling about for the past half hour, Dum dum?”

“… I was.”

“Oh you can fool anyone with your brooding expression, but not me. That’s your “I am being an idiot but I will look cool” face.”

Zuko threw his hands up in frustration. “What’s there to listen? We don’t need to win back “our kingdom” which means we don’t need an army, so you can easily refuse. Have you seen these people? We don’t need to rule savages, it’s beneath us. Judging by what little ‘useful’ information he has given us, our family was overthrown, not the selective members exiled into obscurity, which means people were not satisfied with their rule. And really, you and marriage? Are you serious? That is a recipe for disaster. Did you forgot what happened with Zhao Jr.? And that Kuzon guy?”

Azula’s eyebrows were climbing higher and higher until he mentioned her misfortunate suitors, at which she let out a peal of laughter. It was weird. Seeing his sister’s mannerisms on such an innocent-looking face made it creepy. Come to think of it, his own face looked good too.

Who was he kidding? He was aware of what he looked like, in both lives. Pretty was a world that no one dared to mention in his vicinity except some scuffles in Ba Sing Sa, because even with his good looks, he was intimidating. Not to mention that everyone feared what kind of tantrum he would throw. He admits he was horrible in his teenage years. If his grandson had done such things, his daughter would never have tolerated it.

She was a force of nature. Even Azula submitted to her niece on occasions. Just never say that to her face. She will burn everything.

But still, he mourned the loss of the intimidation factor.

“Since when did you, paragon of honor and justice, consider anyone beneath you? You fraternized with peasants so much nobility started to wonder whether your change of heart was because of Uncle or if there was something else going on behind the scenes. The only thing you had in your favor was your inability to lie. And,” she smirked, “Zhao Jr.? Really, Zuzu? Why would you think I would give even a lick of attention to the nephew of the man so idiot that he went and angered spirits. Sex is good, but marrying those idiots? The only thing they wanted was power, but morons didn’t even have the decency to have a brain. Like I would have gone against my Lord. I was medically insane, my preservation instincts were just fine.” She sniffed haughtily.

Their relationship was strange. Zuko didn’t think that staying surrounded by doctors would make her better. So, after getting her out of the mental institute despite protests of various people, he gave her some estates to run. In hindsight, this was one of his better decisions. He didn’t lower his guard around her, because that would be stupidity, and Azula will maul him on principle.

And that proved to be one of his better decisions. She was still condescending, arrogant, overbearing little shit that stuck her nose in the crown’s affairs, but she never tried to overthrow him. Scheming, yes, but no attempted coups. Apparently, she somehow got the idea in her head that it was her destiny to make him a better, but ruthless Firelord.

He never regretted his teenage years in his whole life more than in those years. Maybe if he hadn’t talked about his honor and destiny so much, he wouldn’t have to put up with Azula’s antics. Sokka, Aang, and Toph never stopped snickering when they saw him sitting like a brooding teenager whenever it came to discussion about their families. Even Katara wouldn’t stop smiling, and she hated his sister!

Coming back to the point…

“I really don’t want to hear about your conquests, once is enough. The only reason I reminded this to you because of you. And marriage. The prospect is horrifying. Clearly, I don’t have the power here to sweep any accident under rug. So no. We can live normally. We can open a tea shop just like uncle and live a pleasant life without any violence. Fuck. Wait. I just jinxed myself, didn’t I?” He groaned.

She made a face like she smelled something unpleasant. “Live like a peasant? That is worse than living in the hospital. Fine” she stood up, “have it your way then.” She declared like she was bestowing him some great honor.

He sighed in relief. Apparently, Agni was having some mercy on him, because Azula didn’t disagreed with him.

He also stood up. “Alright, let’s go.” Turning towards their host, he gave a shallow bow, which indicated his gratitude to him but didn’t make his position lower than the man. “I give my gratitude to you for helping us in our troubling times and will remain in your debt. We will not trouble you anymore.”

The fat merchant that had been attempting to interrupt their conversation from the beginning, finally had enough, and slammed his hands on the table and shouted, “enough! You will not go anywhere.”

Azula raised her eyebrow, and inquired haughtily, “and who is going to stop us?”

The man paled, clearly remembering the incident from an hour earlier. In addition to beating the guards black and blue when they attempted to separate both siblings in the quickest and most humiliating way, she had grabbed the fire torches and lanterns and thrown them at Zuko. That wasn’t the noticeable thing, because Azula have done worse to him with firebending. The noteworthy thing was that she didn’t have a single burn on her. Sure, firebenders were trained from childhood to prevent themselves from getting burned, but she didn’t do any firebending at that moment. She just grabbed the fire torch and threw it at him, the old fashioned way. They really needed to talk about that later.

The man backpedaled, deflating like a balloon. He asked them to wait for an hour, to eat the last meal with him. The pair of siblings shrugged at each other, not seeing any harm in this.

An hour later, both were regretting their decision.

‘At least Azula will maul someone else now’ was Zuko’s last thought before he lost consciousness. His last sight was Azula, paralyzed and drugged, but not completely unconscious.


End file.
